Hmm...I wonder...

I wonder if you can recover from a broken heart. I realize that I'm only 19 and I haven't suffered very many heart breaks, but it feels like every time there's a new break, all of the old ones open up again. I know that this break up won't kill me but it feels like it might. Whenever he speaks to me and acts like he doesn't care, like I never meant anything to him, I feel like everything start falling apart. I hate playing these games. I hate wanting what I can't have. I hate being wanted by someone I can't want. I hate that I make that person feel the same way my ex makes me feel. I hate that this is all happening during the holidays. I hate feeling so lonely. I hate him for breaking us. I hate myself for taking it to the next level and destroying what was left of us. How do people go from being completely in love to hating each other? The sad thing is, we both still want each other.

Because I am totally in love with my scale today

I weighed 178.4 lbs a week ago and this morning

175!!!!!!

I should totally start working out to compliment my dieting but I am kind of really lazy.

The funny thing is I moved in with my aunt and she has a treadmill at her house in front of the TV in the living room.

Tonight is the premiere of Gossip Girl and it could not have come at a better time. I swear the shakes are starting. Isn't it bad enough we have to wait a whole week in between episodes?!

Well anywhore, I'll try to get on the treadmill tonight during GG. I'll let you know how that goes

Never Forget

I was in 6th grade. I was in my 2nd period Geography class. An announcement came over the speaker asking teachers to turn on their TVs and tune into the news. I watched the first burning tower. I remember the silence that fell over my class. I watched the second plane hit. I remember Mr. Armenteros(my teacher) kicked the cabinet the TV was on. I remember the school being locked down. I remember the tears in my teacher's eyes. I remember the fear being so thick it was hard to breathe. My mom came an hour later after they finally let her and took me home. I remember being terrifies because at the time we lived in an apartment building. I remember the next day. Red, White, and Blue everywhere. I remember for the next two weeks the whole school sang the national anthem so loud you could hear it in the halls. I remember the faces of the fire fighters. I remember the people jumping from the towers. I remember war being declared. I remember tears in our president's eyes. I remember tears in my eyes and the eyes of those around me. I remember the candles and pictures and flowers at Ground Zero. I remember the heroes in combat boots on TV. I remember. I will never forget.

Because she got me thinking

A while back OHmommy wrote this post.

Whether I agree with her or not is no where near the issue, she is a fantastic blogger and I respect her opinions.

She got me thinking about health care though, to be honest I don't know how the problem never crossed my mind. I must warn you that if you are looking for a post about how current health care affects the majority or how the health care reforms might affect the majority, you ain't gonna find that here. As I've mentioned in previous posts I am 19 years old, I work full time as an executive assistant and I go to school full time. My mother is a teacher and also goes to school online. I make roughly 11,000 a year. I do not have health insurance. Medicaid will not accept me. I am a perfectly healthy 19 year old female and insurance companies would like to charge me about $130 a month, dental not included. If some of you don't know the I'd like to be the first to tell you. Luxuries like a car and gas and food and school supplies don't come cheap. It is because of this that I have gone uninsured. Thankfully I have had no medical emergencies and so it hasn't been an issue. That is until about five months ago I started experiencing some side effects due to weight gain. I am not talking about 100 pound wight gain I gained about 40 pounds. The point is because I have no insurance I haven't been able to see a doctor to treat this side effect.

While I don't agree completely with everything the president is proposing I agree that something has to be done. I know for a fact that I am not the only one who has gone without insurance. I am fully aware of what free health care can do to the QUALITY of the health care you receive. I grew up in Cuba and the hospitals there make you sick just by walking in. I can't say that I have the perfect solution. I don't know that there is a perfect solution. There will never be a one size fits all, don't worry be happy solution. I can tell you that something HAS to be done. We are a country of innovation. I like to view as shoe shopping, stay with me now it makes sense, you go to the store and you see a shoe you like, you try it on, if it doesn't fit right you take it off and put it back. Our legal system and constitution allow for change. I don't propose that we pick something and live with it, on the contrary, I think we can find the solution that will fit the majority by trying things out and compromising. Yelling and each side bickering will not help nor will it fix anything. BEFORE you go and leave me an angry Anon comment I'd like to remid you that I have my right to my opinion and I don't care what you say if you say it as Anon I will totally blow you off(not in the good way). If you grow some balls and tell me off as yourself I will take what you say into consideration. Now. Go forth and yell.

Dumped

I got dumped

By my subscriber

I have to say it kind of hurt but oh wells life goes on at least I haven't gotten some weird Anon person that wants to pass his/her free time by putting angry weird comments on my blog

The funny thing is I didn't even know I had one and when I found out I was super excited and then I took an unceremonious and unannounced break from blogging so I totally get why I got dumped

I don't want someone who never writes crowding up my blogroll either but sometimes life gets in the way and you need to take a step back and fix the little cracks in the dam and that takes time, and effort, and pain, and money, and all the things that leave you so exhausted that while you wish you could spill your guts and pour your heart out to the maybe three people that read your blog on occasion you just can't. I am offically putting myself in the running for longest run on sentence EVA. I would go back and change the punctuations and make it make sense but it sounds so much like how I speak in real life that I just don't want to.

My point, and I do have one, I love writting to my three unknowns. I love sharing my stories and rambles, no matter how insignificant they seem to me, and they may very well be insignificant to a million others, and I may be the most boring blog on the web but I simply don't care. I love going back and re-reading my old posts. Time does funny things to you and the truly important things seem to fade but this way I can always have them around to brighten my day.

So no hard feelings former subscriber I'm sure you had you're reasons, unless you're just a bitch that way, in that case please go ahead and imagine me sticking my tounge out at you.

That is all.

Turns out physics, when challenged, will totally kick your ass...Hard

Remember this...

Yea, the post where I totally defied Newton and all his other buddies and the writers of A Perfect Storm and Yankee in the belief that my relationship could make it.

If I saw me now I wouldn't recognize me

We are done

Well I am done

I gave him my heart and he didn't know how to take care of it and for X and Y reason things didn't work and he may want just ONE last chance but I don't have it in me to give it.

And so we are done.

There two broken hearts in my life and truth be told her heart hurts me more than mine.

1of2 a.k.a Steffy is 1 of my 2 best friends

She's going through Ex and X an Y drama too and she's stubborn as am I and we're hurting and I know we can make it through this but it's like being at the begining of a tunnel...the end looks so far that what you left behind starts to look more comfortable

I hope she knows how much she means to me

I hope she knows how much I want to fucking cut that piece of shit Ex boyfriend of hers

I hope she knows how much better she deserves

I hope she knows how much I pray to have her compassion one day

I hope she reads this and starts to realize that as much as we love her she should love herself 1000 times more...

Proudly Introducing

I can't believe I haven't mentioned him before...

It kind of seems like he's always been there...

He's been my rock to lean on for a while now and we've made a mess of what started out as a seemingly normal friendship but I think we can all agree that sex complicates things...actually he doesn't agree with me on that...I have a feeling he thinks I'm the one that complicates things...He's probably right

I adore him...it wasn't always that way

There were times when I couldn't be near him without scowling or crying or worse yearning

But life made us both grow up and whatever it is that we are I am glad and blessed for it

Thank you for being there for me

If you ever read this and are not happy that I blasted on the world wide web I'll make sure to be in sexually compromising position in order to distract you

I haven't come up with a good enough name for him yet so for now let's call him Yankee

If you're wondering why I haven't spent time with him I actually spend more time with him than anyone else...but it's spent through text messeages because he lives in a magical land far far away that I crave to be at every time I pass the airport...

30 minte/ 3 ingridient cookies!

Disclaimer: I am not a foodie blogger. I cook, a lot and I bake when anxious and I love to share what I cook or bake but don't expect it too often because I mostly make up what I make as I go and I forget to write things down or take pics and then it's kind of point less...

Without further ado...

Take 6 cups of all purpose flour and dump it in a big mixing bowl

Add 5 sticks of melted butter

Mix until it becomes a dough like in the picture

Take a flat baking pan( I tihnk that's what they're called...again not a foodie or a chef)

Make medium sized patties and lay them down on the pan... they dont grow much so don't be afraid to put them close

Bake for 25 minutes at 325 and sprinkle with powdered sugar as soon as the come out of the oven

Let them cool and enjoy

I made them once with a big hershey's kiss in the middle and they were delicious so vary as you wish...

I forgot to mention I love these cookies because they're fast, versatile and hassle free but they are in no wayyy fat free or light so save them for a cheat day babe

I FLY!

I spent some much much MUCH needed Hand Coloring time with Jessy last weekend...

Let's put it this way...

I FLY= I Fucking Love You...because we're classy with a capital K!

Hand Coloring(cuddling)=holding hands

Jessy was never the most affectionate child in fact she rarely shows how much she loves you except for holding your hand and snuggling to my arm while she's asleep...yes, I wake up a full TWO hours before she does but I stay in the bed so she knows I'm there and I play with her iTouch and make sure Mark doesn't wake the princess until she's good and ready.

Yea, I spoil her. I totally own up to it.

The picture of our hands is obviously the Hand Coloring and the other two I like to call the hardships of being a teenager a.k.a having to blow dry hair/do homework/hold a conversation/not fall off the bed/shower/brush teeth/eat/ect... while texting.

I love you baby girl and you are totally going to get your skinny little ass kicked for not listening to me when we had the myspace discussion...

Super Cute and Functional!!

So a while back I entered a contest over at Mommy is Moody...

There was a varied selcetion of prizes depending on which entry you did...

I won these babies...

They're called Kid's Moody Magnets and you can find them here...

Seeing as how I don't have any kiddies that I birthed myself I gave these as a gift to my co-workers son because he's always been kind of shy and that makes him totally adorable but we all know what it's like to be so frustrated when you can't really put into words what you're feeling...

I won't say that they are the miracle cure of all things or anything but they seem to help in a conflict resolution sort of way and from an outsiders point of view parenting seems kind of hard at times so I figure anybody would want as many helpful tools as possible...

Can you raise well adjusted members of society without them...sure...but come on give your kids a break...

Expressing yourself is hard yo!

Lost It

My blog virginity that is.

Yup, you guessed it.

I got my very first blog subscriber on Sunday.

I am so excited! If you are my subscriber and you are reading this then let me tell you have made my week! and it's my birthday on sunday so this is like the awesomest present ever!

Thank You!

P.S. Please tell me who you are because I'd like to thank you more appropriately

In Love

Do you like staring at pretty things and getting chances to win them then check out The Lovely List ^^^^

Firsts

Yesterday was the MONUMENTAL first day of freshman year for Jessy.

Oh holy crap was she excited. I was with her from 9 pm until almost 11:30 getting

the full download of info. Apparently...her school is big enough to house the entire U.S. Army and she got lost going to every single class, also bigger people (upper class men) are terrifying and will like eat you or something. She was so wide eyed and excited and it was like the most amazing moment of her life and all her teachers are incredible and the hallways are paved with gold and there's a make your own sundae bar at every corner and all that good stuff. To be completely honest with you I am literally holding my breath. I wasn't very good in high school. OK I chose partying over school and as best as I try to tell her about my experiences but I know for a fact that most people don't learn life lessons through someone else. I am so scared that she might damage her future like I did mine. Any tips?

Let's Play Catch-up

**School's about to start so my baby loves are leaving me for another year and my visitations are limited to weekends and trips to the library and oh my god hold me because I am so going to cry massively and freak the fuck out because they are growing up and in a little while I'm not gonna be the cool young aunt anymore...I ramble...a lot

**Summer was a sweet loving happy success...I learned to fish...We went on the boat and I did not puke not once...I love that Cuban/ in your blood/ raft training...We had some awesome family bonding times that damn near drove me to tears...We laughed, we hugged, and we perspirated...a lot

**You know how when you break up with someone and after about a month and a half you get back together but in that month and a half you both kind of got used to being single so getting back into that whole relationship mode is slightly complicated...Well I am more than glad to report that The Boyfriend and I are almost over that little storm and our little ship is making it over the big ass wave so take THAT! writers of a perfect storm I don't care if physics proves me wrong I believe in little ships dammit!

**So here are some photo high lights of this summer...

The family in Key West (partially)

You gotta love Grandma

SUPERHERO!!!

Love

Tell me that's not cute

I'm not very skilled but it gets the job done

He LLOOOVVVEEDDD fishing

MYYY FIIIISSSSSHHHH (I caught it! We put it back because "is too small to make fishie food")

The devil is cute

My other fish

In her words...I CAUGHT A FIIIIISSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love

So Cuban

**So that was my summer...It rocked

Public University SUCKSSSSSSS

To all new parents...

I beg of you...start that college fund for your kids because financial aide barely covers anything and public universities suck...

Oh yea and your kid having to work full time + over time to pay for the aforementioned suckish university sucks even more...

It is with this in mind that I am taking the leap into private university heaven and student loan hell because if I stay at my current school I may never fucking graduate.

Please parents hear my plea and don't put your kids through this. Start a college fund. Hit up the grandparents to start a college fund too. Anything you can think of but have the money stored away.

If you're thinking your kids are going to get by with scholarships you're sadly mostly wrong because scholarship committees are staffed with pretentious a-holes and if don't floss three times a day then BOOM! no dinero for you homes!

Please tell me I'm not alone and that Public U sucks!

The Skandals

Awesome new band!

Moving The Masses

I found a site about two or three weeks ago through ZoeyJane's fantaboulus blog; if you haven't checked her out then you must must must!

Anywho, the site is called Violence UnSilenced

It serves as an online support group for people suffering and who have suffered from abuse.

I can't even begin to imagine the horrible pain these men and women must carry around with them and so this site is my pick for Moving The Masses.

Please head over there and show your support.

On a much much sadder note

I have thought of a million ways to write this, I still feel it is not my place to write it but something in me says I must.

A friend of my family who has been married for a while had a beautiful baby girl about a year ago in addition to her daughter from a previous marriage. Needless to say everyone was head over heels for the baby and when she became pregnant a second time her husband and her were overcome joy. Eight months ago she gave birth a beautiful baby boy who was born with a congenital heart deffect. He has had four or five extreme surgeries and has never left the hospital in his eight months of life. He is currently on life support because the doctor's are afraid his little body can't take the recovery processes on its own. Our friend Gretel has quit her job and now lives full time in the hospital with her baby boy. I come to you not asking for money or anything of the sort, I come asking that you keep the Vidal family in your prayers with the hopes that one day this special little boy will see more than a hospital ICU. My heart aches for those who have to watch their children suffer and even more when they have to bury their own children. I know I will never truly understand the pain until I have children of my own but I still see the injustice of children suffering. I ask again to please pray for the safe recovery of this little boy. Religion matters not, God can hear us all.

Thank you.

Procrastination (and why it took me forever to get the work outs going)

So about 56498416554098 years ago I pledged to start walking two miles everyday...

Didn't happen.

Last night however, after much procrastinating and finding every excuse in the book me and one of my girlfriends headed out to a nearby park and walked on the track...

I never did make those two miles, but I speed walked one and I painted my toenails (hadn't happened in over a month).

Plus my room and dresser drawers got some clean up actions so all in all it was a very productive night.

Tonight I am going to dinner with my best friend in the whole wide world and then after its back to the track.

P.S. I thought I was completely out of shape...turns out I am somewhat out of shape but I'm mostly just lazy.

P.P.S. That mind over matter stuff really works, next time your working out don't picture thin celebrities...picture yourself thinner. Totally works in a second wind kind of way.

P.P.P.S. The shoes in the pic are Steve Madden, $ 38.99 at DSW

Soak Up The Sun

My uncle just got a boat.


What do South Florida people do with a boat?


Head down to the Keys. Rent a trailer big enough to fit 40 at a marina. Go out on the aforementioned boat to a nearby sandbank. Swim around and drink Coronas.


Well not me for the last part. My family doesn't let me drink alcohol so it's straight up water and sodie pop for me.


We also blister under the HOT sun!

Going back next Weekend and the weekend after that.

Can't wait one bit!

Addicted, Inspired, and Humbled

If you haven't checked my blog roll thingy then let me tell you about my bloggy addictions.


I love love me some Perez Hilton. If you've never seen it you MUST go right this second. It's celebrity gossip blogging written by the very witty and hilarious Mr. Perez Hilton himself. I swear it's like crack to me!


I also love parenting blogs, more specifically mommy blogs.


I have a varied taste ranging from the very blunt like Attack of the Redneck Mommy to the more clean cut blogs like Classy Chaos


I cherish all of your stories and I thank you for inspiring me to join the blog community.

Weight Over My Head

As of today I am 5'1 and I weigh 176 pounds.

My mid-section looks like this...

And I have a double chin.

I'm scared.

Not only for the obvious cosmetic reasons but also for my health. I have a lot to look forward to in life and I want to be there to see it.

Soooo......

As of monday I am walking two miles a day and increasing a mile every two weeks.

It may kill me.

And this is my dinner for tonight...

Yummy Mango!

120 pounds is my goal weight!

Moving The Masses

It's charity time!!


WAIITTTTT!!


Fear not, this charity doesn't ask for money.


freerice.com


It's a fun site where for every correct answer you give they donate 10 grains of rice.


You can even pick your own subjects.


It gets my full approval.


Sooooo.....


Go there


Go there now!


freerice.com

No S-E-X around the D-O-G

So about a week ago the Boyfriend got a new puppy named Scooby...

Cute right?

We are loving us some Scooby!

Back to the point!

A few nights ago the Boyfriend and I were "getting busy" and we turned off the lights.

Big mistake.

HUGE!

That poor dog barked/whined through the entire "busy time"

Boyfriend says it was because of the lights.

I think Scooby just plain thought I was killing Boyfriend because he began attacking my flip-flop at one point.

So how do we have S-E-X when the D-O-G freaks out at the slightest noise?

Help?

PS. We can't put him outside the room

The Peeps!

WARNING!

Names were changed for the privacy and safety of the subjects. (holy shiznet! I sounded so serious)

Anywayyyyy....

Let's meet my people!

My niece Jessy (13) and My nephew Mark (9)

They fight and fight and then fight some more...they are adorable and I am so in love with them!

Next in line...

My nephew and godson David (4)

The self-proclaimed love of my life!

They fill my heart and soul along with other people who will be shown later on...

I love you guys!

Brand Spanking New!

Hello Blog World!!!!!

My name is Natalia. I am an 18 yr-old (soon to be 19) college student. I have 9 neices and nephews whom I adore. Three of them live in America with me and the rest are still in Cuba. I guess I should tell you what I plan to write about. I am that aunt that since day one is elbow deep in diapers, poop, and giggles. I love them all as if they were my own and I am dedicating this blog to telling their stories so that when they grow up they will know how much they meant to me, I will also include some personal stuff on here.

Ok...here goes nothing!